Homestuck Oneshots
by Infinity'sEclipse
Summary: Various oneshots of the webcomic Homestuck. I take requests and I can do any quadrant. If no quadrant is specified, it will be flushed. Cover art by SunflowersHero on deviantart.
1. (3GamTav3) Do You Believe In Fairies?

Do you believe in fairies? (GamTav)

AUs: Fairy!Tavros, Tavros isn't paraplegic

terminallyCapricious [TC] started trolling adiosToreador at 18:22

TC: HeY TaVbRo :o)

AT: uHH, hEY gAMZEE, }:o)

TC: AwW LoOk aT ThAt, YoU'Ve gOt mY NoSe.

TC: AnYwAy, MaYbE I ShOuLd mOtHeRfUcKiNg cRaSh aT YoUr pLaCe fOr a fEw dAyS

TC: We cAn pLaY HiDe aNd sEeK

TC: ThRoW SiCk rHyMeS

TC: AnD MaYbE M

TC: ...

AT: gAMZEE?

AT: aRE YOU, oKAY?

TC: Aw, DoN'T WoRrY AbOuT It bRo!

TC: I JuSt mOtHeRfUcKiNg cAuGhT MySeLf aT ThE LaSt MiNuTe

AT: uHHH, oKAY, sURE

AT: yOU CAN COME OVER,

TC: GrEaT :o)

TC: AlRiGhT, i'm oN My mOtHeRfUcKiNg wAy nOw

AT: oKAY, cOOL,

TC: HoNk

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling adiosToreador at 18:27

Tavros leaned back and looked at his chair. He didn't really have anything to do tonight, so why not have his best friend spend the night? Yes... "Best friend"... Wait, why was he dwelling on that now? Augh, nevermind that, Tavros had to get ready!

Tavros bolted up from his chair to dash to change out of his pajamas and into normal clothes. He took off his shirt and gazed in annoyance at the things on his back. He stared at strap on the dresser in dismay before reluctantly pulling it around his upper back and clicking it together. He flinched, he hated wearing this thing, but he would probably get more than a few weird looks if he didn't.

He finished getting on proper clothes and headed to the meal block, deciding to make something. But what to make, what to make... Sandwiches? Might as well ask.

He returned to his computer to ask, hoping Gamzee had his phone on him.

adiosToreador started trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] at 18:39

AT: uH, hEY, gAMZEE?

AT: dO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE SOME PB&JS OR SOMETHING?

TC: SuRe mOtHeRfUcKeR!

AT: gREAT,

adiosToreador ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] at 18:40

Tavros walked back into the meal block and got out the bread, then the grape jelly and peanut butter. He got a butter knife as well and began to put it all together.

Just as he finished, there was a knock on the door. "I'll be right there!" he called, putting up the things he had used and putting the sandwiches on paper nutrition plateaus.

Leaving the sandwiches on the meal block counter he walked to the door and opened it, revealing his best friend's hunched form. "Sup Tavbro," Gamzee greeted, the ever-constant rumble behind his voice. Tavros smiled, replying with a "Hey Gamz," before inviting him to come inside. He did.

Gamzee looked around lazily before Tavros walked past him, saying, "Come on, the meal block's this way." Gamzee smiled and followed.

"Nice motherfuckin' place you got here," Gamzee remarked. Tavros handed one of the plates to him before replying, "It's cozy."

Now, in some friendships you might notice that the two participants of the friendship in question may need to keep up conversation in order to stay interested in their time together. For instance if they were watching a movie, or eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, an awkward silence may fall over them, and they might just be sitting there, avoiding eye contact, desperately searching for something to keep the conversation up, because they have nothing to say, and don't want the other to hate them.

Or maybe that's just my experience. I don't really have a lot of friends.

But in the case of Gamzee and Tavros, this was not true. They were the type of friends who could just sit in a room together, not saying anything, and still have a good time. And that's exactly what they were doing just now.

They just simply sat there until they finished their food and tossed the remains in the dross coffer (which is a trash can I think).

Afterwards they participated in a number of activities, such as throwing some unbelievably awful sick fires, playing Fiduspawn, so on and so forth, until they seemingly had nothing much left to do. So they sat on the floor of Tavros' respiteblock for a moment, and thought.

They had been having so much fun, Tavros realized, that he had completely forgotten about his problem. He wanted so desperately to show him, to spill out everything he had been feeling. He hadn't even really spoken to his lusus about it very much, and he just wanted to tell someone, to get it off his chest, to, to, to...

"So... What's motherfuckin next?" Gamzee suddenly broke the silence, and Tavros' thoughts.

"I... Really don't know, actually," Tavros replied, pausing before finally continuing with, "All the sandwiches are eaten, all the sick fires are thrown, all the Oogonibombs are hatched and host plushes impregnated..." He stopped.

Should he tell him?

The thought struck Tavros like a lance. He started shaking and breathing more heavily just thinking about it. What would Gamzee think? Would he think he was weird? Would he not want to talk to him anymore? Would he leave?

Would he hate him?

"Tavros!"

Said troll gasped and stared at the person who had called his name, panting. Gamzee was staring back, looking extremely worried. "Tav, are you okay? You were shaking like a motherfuckin leaf."

Tavros steadied his breathing and bit his lip, looking away. He realized that, if he never told Gamzee, tension between them would just grow and grow until it was unbearable.

He took a deep breath and stood up.

"Gamzee, there's something that I really need to show you."

Said juggalo tilted his head in confusion. "Okay, motherfuckin show me, brother."

Tavros bit his lip again and swallowed. He turned around, lifting up his shirt a bit. He just barely caught a glimpse of Gamzee's face gaining a heavy indigo hue to it in the mirror.

He reached under his shirt and undid the strap, tossing it to the floor. He finished taking off his shirt and the objects on his back spread out to their full size.

Wings.

A pair of large bronze colored, fairy-like wings resting on the similarly bronze-blooded troll's back, sparkling in what little moonlight streamed through the window and fluttering a bit every now and then.

Tavros waited for a scream, or a disgusted look, but it never came.

Instead, Gamzee stood, walked forward, and barely ghosted the tips of the wings with his fingers.

"Motherfuckin beautiful," Gamzee breathed.

Tavros felt his face heat up, turning his head a bit. He was used to being called a freak. Mutant. Peasant. But Gamzee didn't mind?

"Y-you... Really... Think so...?"

The highblood walked in front of his lowblood best friend and smiled, hugging him tightly.

"Of course I do. And, I motherfuckin have something to show you too."

Tavros wrapped his arms around Gamzee as well. "Okay, what is it?"

Now it was Gamzee's turn to take a breath, and bite his lip.

He pulled away from their embrace just long enough to kiss Tav right on the lips.

Tavros' eyes widened, realizing that Gamzee's lips were on his, his arms around his waist. And he also realized, he enjoyed the feeling. It just felt so right.

He started to kiss back, and pressed himself against the taller troll, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Gamzee smiled into the kiss.

After a few moments Tavros surprisingly initiated a deeper kiss, tugging at Gamzee's bottom lip playfully. They both opened their mouths, tongues swirling and writhing at each other. When they finally broke apart for air, a thin string of saliva connected their mouths as they simply got lost in each other's eyes.

Gamzee finally said, "Tav, would you up and do me a motherfuckin honor, and fill my red quadrant?"

Tavros smiled.

"I'd love to, Gamzee."


	2. (3CroTuna3) A Bully Turned Friend

A Bully Turned Friend... (CroTuna)

AUs: None

Cronus' white eyes (or very, very pale violet if the light hit them correctly) followed Mituna as he walked off, head hanging. Said ochre-blooded troll had just solemnly listened as Cronus berated him for being so stupid. All he had said was "I'm th'orry" as the seadweller glared at him and pointed out how much of a failure he was.

As soon as Mituna was out of sight, Cronus slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand - hard. "Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! You alvways do this!" He sat down on the ground and held his head in his hands. Every time. He did this every time, but he had no idea how to stop himself.

"Cronus? Are you alright?" Cronus recognized the voice immediately: Kankri. Perhaps his one true friend. He looked up at Kankri's concerned expression before sighing deeply, looking away.

"Not... really."

Kankri sat down next to Cronus, rubbing his arm comfortingly. "Would you like to talk about it?" Cronus bit his lip.

"Wvell... Yes..."

Kankri smiled. "I'm all ears."

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Promise."

Cronus stopped and took a breath gathering his thoughts.

"I actually havwe... the biggest flush crush on Mituna."

Kankri's eyes widened. "I see. This does come as news to me, not that I am attempting to invalidate your feelings, it's just that I did not expect this. It would seem that if anything your feelings for him would be darker considering your... treatment of him. If you don't mind me saying so, I do not mean to trigger anyone."

"But see, that's exactly the problem. I vwant to be nice to him, but evwery time he's around, my brain just... freezes. I don't mean to say wvhat I do, I just do."

Kankri nodded attentively. "I see." He watched Cronus, looking out into the distance, unknown memories barely visible. "I'm honestly not sure what advice I could give you, Cronus. I think the best thing to do in this situation would be to simply apologize and ask Mituna if he is open to that kind of relationship with you. But I do not know, as I have never been in a position such as yours. I'm sorry."

Cronus looked over to the cherry-blooded troll. "Ask him if he is open to that kind of relationship?" He repeated back to him. "Kankri, he's vwith Latula. You knowv that, right?" Kankri tilted his head. "Cronus, those two broke up a while ago."

The news struck Cronus like a lightning bolt. He looked away from Kankri and spaced out a bit. His chest fluttered and his head spun. Could he really be with Mituna? Could he really stop pretending? Could they truly be together?

Then all that faded away and Cronus was left with a heavy feeling weighing down on him. No, Mituna would never like him that way. He would never forgive him. After the way he treated him? Please. As if.

Vwowv, he thought to himself, you're in that deep wvith him that you get depressed at the mere thought of him rejecting you? Wvay to go, Ampora.

"Cronus? Are you alright?" Kankri's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He glanced over at him, and sighed. "Yeah, fine..." They both knew he was lying.

"I'm gonna, uh, go take a vwalk." Cronus said, standing up. Kankri stood up as well and nodded. "Of course. Just remember if you ever need to talk about something, you can always share it with me. If you wish to impart that information that is. I completely understand if you do not." Cronus smiled a little, and with a soft "Thanks," walked away into the distant memories of the dreambubbles.

As Cronus walked, he thought. About many things. Such as Mituna, and Latula, and Kankri, and his dancestor, and Mituna, and the humans, and Mituna, and Mituna, and Mituna. He mostly thought about Mituna and every time he tried to think about something else his mind found some correlation to bring his train of thought back to that one troll.

Yes, that one ochre-blooded troll, who had sacrificed himself to save his friends, who had suffered brain damage because of that, whose strange, spastic movements and bipolar nature had somehow caught Cronus' eye. His ruffled hair, his loud, crazy, slightly worrying laugh, his stupidly cute little face... Cronus' face grew warm at just the thought of him. It was the reason he would always get uncomfortably close to him all the time, dropping not-so-subtle hints, so much so that if you were even in the general vicinity of what was occurring you would feel violated. And he really hated himself for it.

Hated how he would always go off on him for things that Mituna simply couldn't control. It wasn't his fault; It was Cronus' fault. Everything was.

That was what he told himself.

If he could just apologize to Mituna, if Mituna could just forgive him, if they could just set everything aside, if they could ju

At this moment, I stopped, because so did Cronus, and we both simultaneously realized that this was the worst monologue in the history of monologues. We both also concluded that it would be best if Cronus would just man the fuck up and tell Mituna about his feelings. If he likes him back, then great, the can be happy for all of eternity. If not, oh well, he could just move on.

So together, I as the author of this fanfiction, and Cronus, as a fictional fish alien bard with a free will of his own(?) moved Cronus to begin the long journey to confront Mituna.

... He wasn't exactly that hard to find.

He was, predictably, attempting to do radical tricks on his skateboard – and for the most part, failing miserably and falling each time. Cronus watched him for a little bit, as he did a sick grind on a railing in a Prospit memory, tried to jump off, fell on his face, threw a hissy fit, rinse and repeat. He was just so damn cute.

"So you gonna work up the courage to talk to him or what?"

The game grl's voice had startled the human greaser and he jumped and turned to Latula. "L-Latula! Hey b-babe, uh, howv long vwere you standing there...?"

She giggled. "Long enough."

Cronus blushed and searched for an excuse. "V-vwell, I, uh, wvas just, sp-spacing out, and uh... I don't havwe a reasonable explanation."

"Hah, don't worry about it. I already know."

"Uh, about wvhat...?" He already knew.

"Aww come on, you know what I'm talkin about! You're rocking mad red feelings for Tuna!"

"Howv did you knovw about that?"

Latula frowned and furrowed her eyebrows at him. "Seriously? The way you were watching him just then? And that little look on your face, boy, I know a flush crush when I see one!"

Cronus' blush became thicker as he thought for a moment about what to say, but Latula beat him to it.

"Listen, I know how stressful it is having a flush crush and being afraid they don't like you. And I totally support you and Tuna." For once, her rad girl facade dropped, just a little bit, and she smiled. Not like a cool kid, a genuine smile.

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "Vwhoah, really?"

"Yeah! Totally! You should so go and give it a shot!"

"Wvowv. Thanks, Latula." With newfound confidence, Cronus strode towards Mituna with a set goal in mind.

Tell him.

"Hey, Chief. Uh, mind if I talk to you for a bit?"

Mituna turned to him almost immediately, replying with a mixed up "I don't care". Cronus cringed, and decided to just get it over with.

"So, uh, I vwould like to apologize for, all the times I wvas mean to you or put you down, or all that." He took a breath. "I really, really didn't mean it, and, if you don't despise me by this point, I'd like to ask you something." He brought Mituna over to the railing and sat down on it, a bridge arching over a river.

"So uh, vwell, let's just cut to the chase... I hawve a really, really big flush crush on you, and I havwe for a vwhile, and I was just wvondering if, maybe... Vwe could be-"

"Yes."

"But I didn't evwen-"

"Yes."

Cronus found butterflies in his stomach again. "R-really?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"And you really are okay vwith that?"

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes." [#Y35 #Y35 #Y35]

Cronus smiled. He leaned in to hug Mituna and –

Got pushed off.

After getting over the shock and looking up to see Mituna with a wide grin, he shouted "No fair!" and climbed up onto the river bank, with Mituna running off the bridge to go join him. He crashed into him, kissing him sloppily, and Cronus kissed back. Meanwhile Latula was watching from a distance, fist-pumping into the air.

And they were happy.


	3. (3DaveKat3) All Of The Quadrants

All of the Quadrants. All of them. (DaveKat)

AUs: None

'How the fuck did I get here?'

Dave was clearly not paying attention as Karkat went off on a rather long monologue about how much better troll romance movies were than human romance movies, all because there's more types of romance options for trolls, and more danger because drones, and hence more opportunities for drama, and tension, and something else that Dave didn't quite catch.

Back to Dave's thoughts, which were as always concealed behind mirror shades, and were focused on how exactly he got himself into this situation. He genuinely wasn't sure. Let's see, he woke up this morning, got out of bed, got dressed, ate breakfast, took a shower, brushed his teeth... Hadn't Karkat trolled him after that? Hmm...

"Hey asshat, are you even fucking listening to me?"

Dave just barely registered that Kartkat had asked him something. "Yeah, totally. Uh... Kizmaysis and Maysprite, right?"

Karkat made an "ugh" sound and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as well. "Of course, I knew it. Okay fucknuts, you leave me with only one choice."

Dave tilted his head and smirked, leaning back on the chair. "Aww. I love it when you give me cute nicknames like that."

"Shut the fuck up, you insufferable prick," the troll growled, getting ever so slightly closer to the human, "And let me teach you a thing."

He grabbed Dave's hand, pulling him off of the chair, forcing him to get his full attention.

"I'm going to be your tutor now. Welcome to Troll Quadrants 101, which is completely mandatory. No arguing, douchenozzle." He said, looking up at the taller coolkid. Dave was only slightly taller than Karkat, but he liked to boast about it often.

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no, I'm not doing that."

Karkat continued to be stubborn, however, as always. "Too bad. It's too late, you don't have a choice."

The hero of time sighed a little, chuckling under his breath at how cute Kar was when he was being stubborn. "No, listen, I wouldn't step foot in your trollmance shit for a million boondollars."

The mutantblood pretty much just ignored him. He really was hellbent on doing this. "Okay, first lesson, Matespritship. Now, Matespritship comes from the emotion pity - which is really just a toned down version of the main emotion, hate - and is the closest thing to human romance. But since you're such a dickmongering fuckwad I'm sure you haven't had any experience in that realm in general. So I'll show you."

'There is no fucking way I'm getting out of this alive.'

Karkat turned around so that he was facing the same direction as Dave, their sides pressed against each other. "So, if we were in a flushed relationship, we'd be walking along like normal, but you'd put your arm around my shoulders; like this." He grabbed Dave's wrist and wrapped it around his shoulders. "Like so."

'... Okay, maybe I can make it through this.'

Dave's face flushed and he swallowed. "Uh, I, uh... Okay."

Karkat smirked a little bit at Dave's reaction, but it was subtle enough for said kid to not notice. "And we'd watch rom-coms together, and go out on dates." He brought Dave over to a table and sat down, prompting the coolkid to do the same. "We'd be sitting in at a candlelit table all to ourselves eating a romantic meal." Dave was growing more flushed by the second. Karkat was surprisingly good at romancey stuff.

"We'd try to sneak glimpses at each other while the other one isn't looking, but eventually our eyes would meet, and we'd lean in..." He leaned over ever so slowly, inching towards Dave. He managed to keep a fairly stoic expression the entire time.

The one who was supposed to be stoic, however, was the complete opposite of it. His eyes were wide, his breathing unsteady, his heartbeat fast.

And then Karkat pulled away, pulling Dave over to the couch in the living room.

"And we probably would watch a few troll romance movies, such as '7-sweep-old oliveblood moves to another city so that her lusus can go on a trip; She reunites with her tealblood moirail and a wrigglerhood friend who is later revealed to be a werewolf; She meets a charming jadeblood who is later revealed to be a rainbow drinker-'"

Dave put a hand over Karkat's mouth, silencing him. "Karkat, no, there's no way I'm watching a shitty version of troll Twilight."

Karkat moved Dave's hand away but didn't protest. "Yeah, I know, it is pretty shitty."

They stood there for but a moment before Karkat moved on to the next subject.

"So the next form is Kismessitude, black romance. Basically, a romantic rival. But you don't actually want to kill them. That would be stupid." He said, pausing before continuing. "So in a caliginous relationship, we would be fighting and whatnot. It's a really fun romance to watch."

Dave tilted his head. "So, like, play fighting?"

"Right idea, wrong reasons, more intense." The troll crossed his arms absent-mindedly.

"Oh." Dave was watching every little movement.

"So, in a black relationship, instead of kissing and cuddling, we'd be scratching and biting. Wanna try?" He inched slightly closer to Dave, so much so that their chests almost touched.

Dave felt his face heat up again; and just when it was cooling down. His heartbeat was going faster than he quite thought possible, and he was almost hyperventilating. He desperately searched for a response, and eventually came up with the coolest, most chill, non-homo-est response in the history of paradox space:

"Uh, a-absolutely!"

'Fuck.'

Karkat smirked for but a second before suddenly wrapping his hand around Dave's neck, taking him by surprise, using his other hand to scratch at his shoulder. Dave quickly got the message, and did something similar to Karkat, but he still wasn't really paying attention. He was just focused on how close the two were at the moment. If it meant getting close to him, he'd do it.

Somehow, it had only just occurred to him that he had a crush on Karkat.

After a few moments of this frantic clawing at eachother, Dave had had quite enough, thank you very much. He threw Karkat down on the couch, which shocked the troll into letting go of Dave for but a moment;

Which was just enough time for Dave to kiss Karkat directly on the lips.

Karkat happily melted into the kiss, resting his upper arms on Dave's shoulders and letting his hands hang down behind his neck. The coolkid grabbed Karkat by the back of the neck, getting deeper, to which Karkat wrapped his legs around Dave's waist.

After a few moments, they broke away, and simply watched each other for a rather long time, breath fanning across each other's faces. Dave eventually broke the silence.

"Can we try the flushed thing again?"

Karkat smiled. "I'd love to."

And so they did. They cuddled together on the couch, huddled up in blankets, watching some shitty troll Twilight, and kissing to distract each other from the worse scenes. It was official; They were together.


End file.
